For our first official day in Korea, we traveled about an hour away from Suwon to teach in Gracie’s school. (Soong Duk All Girls School) With this being an all girls school, you can imagine how popular our boys were. I think the girls thought heaven came down. It was only a one day english camp and typically, the 1st day of teaching anywhere is a train wreck. If you can survive the 1st day, the rest is a piece of cake.

We actually had a pretty smooth day! There’s always the awkwardness of introducing yourself and waiting around to see if you will actually get a response or a blank stare. 9.8 out of 10 times, it’s a blank stare. Always fun for the new teacher. Luckily, we were paired up and had 2 teachers to a room of only about 10 girls. Deborah and I had so much fun with the 7th graders. Their english was really good and I’m not sure how much we taught them, but it was a great way to get the 1st day anxiousness out of the way.

Soong Duk 7th Grade Girls

At the end of the day, we did a giant ChaCha dance with the girls which was O-mazing.

After the teaching was over, we got such a special treat! Gracie’s mom and dad came and brought us KrispyKremes and some other treats. It was so awesome to get to meet them. Even though we don’t speak the same language, their preciousness shined through. I know now where Gracie gets it. Sylvia got a big hug from Mrs. Ha so she could bring it back to Gracie. Possibly the cutest thing ever.

Soooo cute!

We traveled back home and Ryan took us to a small korean restaurant for dinner and then we came back to the house to plan some dramas and chants for the VBS next week. Today we will travel to the retreat center where we will have the vbs. We hear it’s in the mountains and very beautiful. Can’t wait to see it!

It seems as though my time here is quickly coming to an end. At best, I have a total of less than a week. Which is really odd…

There are so many things I will miss about this place. I’ve been noticing them more and more as the time here draws to a close. Some of them I miss already even though I’m still here. Aside from the people, which will obviously be the hardest, here’s a list of some of the things I’ll miss the most and will soon be a distant memory.

~The Mahler bells. Oh, the bells. Sometimes I hear them in my head when I’m not even on campus. By far, my favorite is when you can hear the ringing at the same time the police academy down the road is practicing their shooting. Classic.

~Trees, fountains, light posts, gazebos, ponds, and never-ending construction. Need I say more?

~The lighting of the Christmas Bush. Tacky yet festive.

~Getting kicked off the soccer field. And then the parking lot. And then the tennis courts. And, oh yeah… The boys dorm. Gotta love security….

~Running up the hill. And then continuing up the stairs to the 3rd floor of the LC. And then back down the hill. And back up the hill. You know what… scratch that. Won’t even miss that a little.

~Dr. Pepper Breaks. Dr. Pepper period. Coke is of the devil. I’m just sayin.

~The ducks. They kinda think they own the place, but I like em anyway. Especially when they swim in the pool.

~Power Outages!! It’s comforting to know that with all this tuition we’ve paid that we still can’t count on there being electricity. (or internet that actually works) But I do love it when the whole campus goes black and everyone relocates to Starbucks, Chick Fil A, and IHOP b/c of blackouts. Fun stuff.

~The International Building. Some of my happiest and hardest times were spent here and it really did become my second home. I still can’t walk by the couches w/o straightening the pillows. It allowed me to meet some of the greatest people I have ever known. Virtually all of my memories of DBU are tied in some way to this place. My future is directly linked to my involvement there. And it all started with a phone call from MI. crazy. Who woulda thought?

I’ll miss these things and so many more. But most of all, I’ll miss these people. I can’t put into words exactly how much I will miss them. How much I miss some of them already. I physically ache when I think about it. Then come the tears. You’d think that would eventually get better. About that…..

I’ve been told that life goes on. Change is inevitable. Get over it. (and my personal favorite…) Grow up.

I suppose in time I will. But for now, I reserve the right to long for what was… and what will never be again. I’m not at all a fan of the transition between ’super close friends’ and ’some guy/girl’ I used to know.

Perhaps I have abandonment issues. Perhaps I do need to grow up and get over it. Either way, I’m thankful for every memory, every person, and every moment. What blessings they were…

….and I truly apologize.  Until this week, nothing much was going on.  School and work like usual.  However, this week, all that changed!  No school!  Turns out they don’t make you go anymore after you graduate!!  Who knew? 

So, to update that a little more… as most of you know, I was supposed to begin graduate work on Monday. That also changed this week.  (big week) 

To make a long and extremely frustrating story much shorter, lets just say that I feel that the masters program is not what God has for me at this stage in my life.  I am still in love with Korea and plan on getting there asap, but I’m going a different route.  My main concern with this program was the insane amount of expectations set forth in it.  We were required to teach full time, take masters classes, meet together once a week, be involved in a local church, teach two Bible studies a week, among other things.  This really burdened me b/c I want to have time to throw myself into the culture, learn the language, and build and maintain relationships.  Not to mention, the tremendous financial burden it would put on me to accumulate 2 more years of student loan debt while trying to pay off my existing 3 years of going to a private university.  While it might have been remotely possible for me to do this, I know in my heart that it would have caused extra stress on me thus taking away from the entire experience.

I truly feel like I made the right decision. 

That being said, I’m done with DBU!  Which is a really weird feeling, but I’m also relieved about that.  I LOVED my time here but I would be lying if I said that it wasn’t a struggle.  Granted, most things worth doing are not usually easy, but I’ve been drowning for the past 3 1/2 years and I am just so looking forward to the relief that is in sight.  Not to mention, those of you who have known me for a while know that I have been in and out of school for over 10 years now.  It’s time for a break.  I was burnt out beyond words.

So…. that leads me to my next BIG prayer request.  I need a job!!! My biggest problem is that the korean school system begins in March so they typically hire in February.  I am fairly certain my dream school will likely be hiring in February.  Which would be a job definitely teaching elementary.  However, the timing seems to be the big problem there.  Aside from the fact that I just want to be there NOW, I have no idea what I would do with myself here from September till February.  And, I would have to start paying back my student loans in November.  *pauses a moment to properly freak out*

So aside from that, I do have a pretty cool opportunity next week. I have an interview with a very well respected Korean Baptist Theological University/Seminary on May 28.  From what I understand, it would be somewhat of an intensive english program for college age students.  While I really want to teach elementary students, I have an intense love for college students as well.  And, I seem to have a lot of experience in working with and ministering to them.  The main problem with this one is also timing, but not quite as much time as the other one.  They need someone in July. Since I will be going to Korea for the summer english camp like I did last year, I will not finish until the middle of august.   So I’m praying that their date requirements are a bit flexible. 

Right now I’m really confused about which path would be the best.  I did consider trying to go to a language school in Korea for a semester, but they all seem to want money for like tuition and housing.  jerks. ;)  So I’m not sure that would work out. 

Please help me pray that the right opportunity would make itself obvious.  I’m really needing some guidance on this so I would greatly appreciate your prayers. 

I’ll keep you posted about that happens next.

Oh, and there are graduation pics on flickr.  Check em out.

Per masa’s request…  a new post:

Flying always makes me a bit introspective.  Few things do, but apparently getting in a large metal tube and hurtling through the air a mile above the earth puts some perspective on how teensy tiny my life is.  I guess it would be disheartening to some to realize how small and seemingly insignificant they are, but to me, it draws greater attention to the love, grace, and mercy of my God. 

I flew home to the Panhandle last Thursday.  As you may recall, the weather was not the best that day.  I knew it had been snowing in Amarillo that morning, but as of yet, my flight had only been delayed by 10 minutes and I was hoping to make it out of Dallas before it got bad there.   Alex dropped me off at Love Field and wished me a safe flight. I went on my merry way to check in.  When I got there, I typed in my confirmation number and nothing came up.  It told me to see a representative.  So I did and she asked me to enter it again.  Still nothing.  Weird…  We both agreed on this point. 

So she began to look at my confirmation paper.   “Umm… honey.  You booked your flight backwards.  You start in Amarillo and fly to Dallas.” 

“Cool.”

After confessing my moronity (it’s a word…) to another nice lady and getting that all squared away, I went and found the gate for my new (and much more accurate) flight.  By this point, my flight had been delayed 3 times.  Not by a lot, but enough to make me worry that I wouldn’t get to leave at all as it was supposed to be snowy and icy till the next morning.  They let us line up for boarding and began to call the 1^st few numbers.  But 30 seconds before they called us, ice began to hit the windows. At which point we hear… “sorry folks but due to the weather…”  And that was followed by several of the passengers saying words I don’t feel comfortable typing here. But you can use your imagination… 

Well, we eventually got in the air.  It was a dark and dreary take off.  The weather was gross and my attitude was beginning to resemble the weather.  I was praying we’d get in the air before it started sleeting again, but doubting it would happen.  While we were taking off, I noticed how grey and dark things were.   I turned my head from the window for a while because there wasn’t much sense in looking out; all I could see were clouds.   This went on for quite some time and then….all of a sudden…. there were no more clouds.  And on the other side of all that darkness, the sun was so bright that it hurt my eyes to look out the window. 

How many times do we let clouds into our lives?  Sometimes they get so dark and heavy and stressful.  They block out our view of the Sun.  And somehow, we eventually forget that the Sun is still there.  I get so frustrated with myself when that happens.  And it happens often. 

I’ve been so down lately.  The last year has been a roller coaster of emotions and I’m just about ready for the ride to be over. (though I fear it’s far from it)   I would say that I adapt to change fairly well.  Change in environments or circumstances are fine.  Heck, put me on the other side of the planet and I’m as happy as a lark.   I don’t handle changes in relationships well.  I don’t know if this will ever change. I don’t know how to just turn off emotions like that.  I’m getting so tired of dropping my friends off at the airport promising to stay in touch and to see them again, but knowing it is not likely.  I’m tired of tearful goodbyes.  If only the tears ended at the goodbyes…. 

 However, I know that as emotional as it has been lately, it’s not even close to being over.   The goodbyes have only just begun. 

It’s so easy to look on that and begin dreading it already.   It’s easy to let that dread become a cloud that hangs over my head blocking the brightness and warmth of the Sun.  It’s easy to let all the fears, pressures and concerns of my every day life affect who I am and where I’m going.  But when this happens, I know I need to keep pushing though the clouds until I can see the Sun again.  I know that on the other side of the clouds is something greater and much brighter than I could imagine on my own. I can barely imagine what lies ahead of me and I know it will be greater than anything I could dream.   I just need to keep flying till I can look down on the clouds below and say.  Hmmm… you’re not that big and scary after all………